Road Trip
by SpikeFan4Life95
Summary: Giles informs Buffy of a dangerous artifact in Kansas she must retrieve. The only one who can accompany her? Spike. Buffy and Spike on a road trip together is just a recipe for disastor...and hilarity.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Here's a better summary:  
>Giles discovers news of a hidden ruin somewhere in Kansas, but alas, the only person who can go with Buffy is Spike. This is the story of their trip together and how they overcome the truth of what awaits for them there. This is set in an AU season 5. I use season 5 a lot because it is the easiest to mess with and change to my heart's desire.<p>

**Disclaimer: **None of the characters are mine, all belong to the wonderful folks who created the Buffyverse.

**A/N: **Was suddenly struck with the thought of how funny Spike and Buffy would be stuck in a car on a long trip together. I've already started the second chapter, so an update will be done pretty soon. Would love reviews, they make me want to keep writing :)

"Oh no," Buffy was gaping at Giles, an incredulous look on her face. Spike was across the room smirking at her typical reaction to anything that involved him. "I am NOT going on a road trip with him," she said, pointing accusingly at the vampire making himself at home in Buffy's house. He was lounging on the couch in Buffy's living room while Buffy was up and pacing about the room and Giles was standing awkwardly, hoping he could get his Slayer to agree to go. Buffy still had her jaw hung open at Giles telling her what had to be done.

"Close your mouth, Slayer, its rude," Spike jokingly chastised her as he leaned back, stretching across the couch. He was getting way too much enjoyment from Buffy's obvious distaste. Earlier that night, Giles had informed them all of some hidden temple of sorts in Kansas. Willow and Tara had classes, Dawn had school, Xander had work, and Anya and Giles had to run the Magic Shop, so Spike was the only option left to accompany her. It was too dangerous to allow Buffy to go alone. She was going to argue this decision as much as possible apparently.

Ignoring Spike's comment, Buffy looked at her Watcher, practically begging him to come up with a better solution. How dangerous could this trip be? Giles took off his glasses and began cleaning them even though they were already pristine. He didn't want to see Buffy scowling at him, it made sticking her with Spike that much harder.

"Look, Buffy I know how much you don't like this, but you've got Slayer duties. In the wrong hands, the artifact within this temple could destroy the world. I need you to retrieve it so I can find a way to destroy it or so Willow, Tara and I can cast a spell to keep evil from touching it. Spike is the only one who can accompany you."

"But I'm the Slayer, I don't need any help! And Spike can't travel during the day, and I can't drive!"

"This artifact corrupts all who touch it, Spike being the demon that he is, cannot be corrupted by its magicks since he is already a thing born from malevolence," Giles explained to a baffled Buffy. Spike snorted and decided to add into the conversation going on between the two.

"Aw thanks Rupert, didn't know you thought so highly of me," this comment elicited an eye roll from Buffy, but Spike continued, mostly speaking to Buffy. "My windows are sun-proof for the most part, so no worries of the designated driver bursting into flames, and by the by, you won't be even close to getting behind the wheel, pet, especially since you failed the driving test so many times." Spike teased her, even though he wasn't one to obey traffic laws either. He was looking forward to this road trip; he'd enjoy giving Buffy hell the whole time.

"You see this Giles? I cannot deal with him for an hour, let alone how long it takes to get to Kansas!" Buffy complained. Being the Slayer did not make her able to put up with Spike in close range. She didn't even like patrolling with him. He was annoying, made fun of her, and talked about music that went out of style about the same time his hair did. Just because it was cool in the 80's doesn't mean it was cool now.

"Er, well it's about a 25 hour drive with no stops, so probably over a day trip, but you need to do this. I'm afraid I have to put my foot down. Spike may not make for good traveling company, but he can handle himself in a fight, and should be clever enough to help you figure out the traps that are most assuredly in abundance in the ruins. So please, go pack and you'll be on your way," Giles was just going to have to deal with a huffy Slayer. As expected, Buffy sent a quick glare Spike's way and then stomped up the stairs to pack for their trip.

"Moody isn't she? " Spike commented, his small bag of extra clothes near his feet. He just had another black t-shirt and a pair of black jeans identical to the ones he was wearing. He had a toothbrush and toothpaste too, just in case. Giles sighed and sank into a nearby chair. Buffy was certainly a handful, any other Watcher would have had a stroke by now.

"Just please don't antagonize her. Believe me, I don't want to hear about how annoying you are on a daily basis," Giles commented. He certainly didn't like Spike, but he was the only hope they had. Spike nodded, and then was struck with a thought.

"Wait, Buffy talks about me, does she?" Spike asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his legs. He liked Buffy, of course not something he'd ever admit to, but he did. He dreamed about her on a nightly basis, and even though he enjoyed tormenting her, it was only because he knew she would accept nothing more. God, how he wanted her, but he knew nothing would come of it, so he'd take what he could get.

"Well yes, but I wouldn't let it go straight to your head. It's mostly complaining about how annoying you are, how much she hates working with you, etc." Giles glanced up when he heard a loud thump coming from upstairs, followed by a dragging sound. It sounded like something very heavy. The sound then started on the stairs. Both Spike and Giles got up to see what Buffy was doing. They glanced up and Buffy was attempting to lug a giant suitcase down the stairs. She looked at them exasperated, and after a few seconds rolled her eyes.

"A little help would be nice. Even Slayer powers can't handle this," Giles backed up, making sure Spike got the idea that he was the one stuck with her, so he had to help her. Spike clomped up the stairs, yanked the suitcase from Buffy, and tossed it down the rest of the way. She gaped at him, completely horrified, before she repeatedly hit him in the chest.

"What…is…wrong…with…YOU!" She yelled with each paused accentuated by a punch. Spike glared at her and got off the stairs, picking up her suitcase to set it right side up.

"What's wrong with me? Look at all the crap you packed! Why do you need all this? It's only one bloody day!"

"Well you didn't have to throw it down the stairs! What if something was breakable!"

"Then now it's all broken and in convenient little pieces."

"Giles!" Buffy yelled. She was fed up with Spike and they hadn't even left yet. Giles was fed up with both of them and shooed them out of Buffy's house. The sooner they were gone, the quieter it would be. Giles loved Buffy like a daughter, but when you put her and Spike together in the same room, it was just bad. If the trouble the artifact could cause wasn't on an apocalyptic scale, then he wouldn't have wanted to put the two in the same vehicle together. Of course, if Buffy staked Spike sometime on their trip, he wouldn't have to hear them bicker or complain about each other.

As Giles shut the door on the two, calling out farewells, he could hear their voices traveling through the door even as they walked into the driveway. Giles sighed, relieved they were gone. Only when the engine of Spike's car fired up did Giles go into the kitchen to make up some tea. He felt he deserved it. Just thinking about how the road trip was going to go filled him with unease. Spike and Buffy were two of the most argumentative people Rupert knew, sticking them in a car together was a recipe for disaster.


	2. Chapter 2

**Acknowledgements: **XxMortalitasxX for being my unofficial beta reader. Thankies! Also thanks to everybody who gave such nice reviews!

**A/N: **So this took me a lot longer than I thought it would, but here it is! Music was my muse :3 Reviews rock btw!

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><p>About an hour later, Buffy and Spike were well out of Sunnydale and on the highway. Buffy was already irritated with Spike. He was playing his Sex Pistols or whatever and even singing along with it, out of tune of course. No wonder Harmony tried to burn all his CD's. Spike was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and just having a grand old time watching Buffy's eye want to twitch while she was obviously trying to ignore him. He reached over and turned the volume up louder. This was the last straw music wise. With an irritated sigh she leaned forward and turned the volume back down. After turning it down, Buffy made a show of rotating her whole body to stare out the window.<p>

A smile twitched on Spike's lips as he reached over and turned the volume up to an almost painful volume. Buffy jumped in her seat and covered her ears. Spike chuckled when she quickly went to turn it off again. Buffy was getting pissed off by him thinking it was so funny.

"Do it again and so help me Spike I will take out that CD and toss it out the damn window," Buffy threatened, which aggravated Spike. That was a great CD! He'd already had to go steal it from Giles since Harmony destroyed his original one, and he didn't want to put forth the effort to steal another one.

"Hey! You won't believe what I had to go through to get that! You just aren't any fun at all Summers." Spike valued his music too much to bother her with it anymore, so they lapsed into silence, the music only playing faintly. An hour or so passed, and Buffy was getting twitchy. She hated cars, they always made her feel trapped, especially being stuck in one with Spike.

"I'm thirsty…" she complained and Spike raised an eyebrow at her. If she complained this whole trip he would risk the chip sending searing pain through his skull just so he could choke her.

"Well so am I, we all have our burdens to bear," Spike replied, not putting up with her. He wasn't going to stop for all of her needs. He wanted to get to this temple place and fight something. Driving usually bored him to tears.

"Don't make me threaten your music again," Buffy said, seriously ready to just chuck it out the window. She reached towards the eject button and he grabbed her hand before she got there.

"Hey! Don't have to be rash, luv! Fine. There is a gas station up ahead. We can stop and you can get a soda or whatever," Spike agreed to take her, because she was persistent and he didn't want to listen to her complain anymore. He dropped her hand and began peering around the highway, looking for exit signs. He spotted one up ahead and got over, going at least 10 over the speed limit. Buffy really didn't like his driving. It was too fast and nerve-wracking.

They pulled into a brightly lit gas station, making Spike squint his eyes. He wasn't used to such bright lights. With a new spring in her step, Buffy hopped out of the car and walked inside. Spike got out as well, mostly getting away from the blinding lights. He pulled out his lighter and a cigarette and leaned against the stone building. This trip just wasn't fun. He really hated how mean Buffy was to him, granted sometimes he deserved it, but really he was only trying to get attention from her. The only way to do that was to annoy her.

Inside the station, Buffy grinned as she pulled out the wad of cash she'd found stowed in Spike's car. Back at the soda machine she tugged out one of the largest cup sizes and filled it up with caffeinated soda. Of course in clumsy Buffy fashion she overfilled it and spilt it all over the place, but before anyone noticed, she slinked off to go pay for it.

Spike's head jerked when he saw Buffy approach with a large soda and an armful of snacks she'd gotten at the last minute. He was puzzled; he hadn't seen her with a purse or anything. Stamping out his cigarette, he unlocked the car and they got ready to leave. While Buffy put her seatbelt on and got situated, Spike rooted around in the backseat. Buffy turned around and nearly gasped. Spike's jean-clad butt was right in her face. She blushed at the proximity and then turned to stare out the window.

After finding a packet of blood in his car, he sat down in his seat and wiggled his eyebrows at Buffy. He knew she had stared at his backside. "See something you like, luv?"

"Ugh, no! Gross!" Buffy vehemently replied. She did _not_ think Spike was hot! Ok well, sometimes a little bit, but _EW_ Spike! He shrugged and downed his blood.

"By the by, stealing isn't nice, Summers. I know you didn't bring any money, so you must have gotten into my stash," Spike didn't particularly care since it was most likely hers in the first place anyways, but he wanted to see how she'd react. She looked sheepish, and as Spike's tires squealed while they pulled out, she admitted to stealing his cash.

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><p>Two hours later and Buffy was talking animatedly and Spike was near his boiling point. Apparently caffeine made the Slayer chatty, and she was driving him bonkers. In the middle of some story she was babbling about, he noticed she started squirming in her seat.<p>

"Ahh! Spike! We need to stop again! I have to pee really bad!" the Slayer admitted to an amused Spike. He grinned and drove past the exit.

"Sorry luv, did you say something?"

"C'mon Spike! Please stop at the next exit! I'll so owe you!"

"Hmm, a Slayer in debt to me? Works well enough I suppose, but the next exit is twenty minutes away." Spike told her, amused when she widened her eyes at him. She already felt fit to burst, that stupid soda going right through her.

"Fine!" Buffy yelled at him. Spike was amused at her discomfort and slowed down to the speed limit. He was surprised he hadn't been pulled over yet. Buffy squirmed in her seat and began asking every couple of minutes it they were there yet. Fed up with it, Spike turned the music back to his usual punk-rock and ignored her.

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><p>After Buffy's potty break, the atmosphere in the car was much more peaceful than when they left Sunnydale. It had been a couple hours and Spike was looking at the map Giles had given him and was trying to figure out where they needed to go. He was driving with his knee rather than his hands and was surprised Buffy hadn't complained yet. The California border was well behind them and the road was bathed in eerie silence. The car was equally silent except for some softly playing music. Buffy was finally being quiet, Spike actually forgot about her until he felt her head drift to the side and lean on his shoulder.<p>

At first he stiffened, figuring she would wake up and yell at him, but when she didn't and she actually nuzzled even closer to him, he relaxed. Inhaling the smell of her shampoo commercial hair, he smiled to himself. He enjoyed this more than he ever wanted to admit to himself. He didn't know when these feelings toward the Slayer developed, but he figured it had something to do with Red's mucked up spell last year. Ever since their 'engagement,' he couldn't stop thinking about her. He'd try to be mean to her, but he just couldn't be serious about it.

She gave him plenty of reasons to be mean to her, but her spunk and her fire just made everything between them worth it. He knew she didn't want a ponce like Angel anymore, and Riley obviously wasn't monster enough for her, so what was holding her back? It had to be some conscious reason because her unconscious-self sure seemed to like him.

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><p>Spike yawned as he crossed the border into New Mexico hours later. Just because he was practically dead didn't mean he didn't need sleep. Pulling off the road, Spike gently reached for his blanket so he didn't wake the snoozing Slayer. He took off his duster and draped the jacket over Buffy, and then he put the blanket on himself and drifted to sleep. This was the last relaxing moment they would have on this perilous journey. Once they reached the ruins, all hell would break loose and both would leave a little bit mangled from the experience.<p> 


	3. Are We There Yet?

**A/N: **Ok, I know, I'm super lame for taking so long to update. I got extremely busy and sick last week and I was working on other chapters for different fics I have to update. This was a transitioning chapter; the next one will contain the main parts of the plot (finally right?) It's not nearly as light-hearted as this has been so far. It gets all fun and angsty. Thanks for everybody who has reviewed! I really appreciate it! Oh and all mistakes are mine, no beta for this chapter (not even an unofficial one). I've read through for editing at least four times, so sorry if I missed anything.

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><p>Light trickled into the De Soto as the sun rose from the east. Buffy yawned and in the state between sleep and wakefulness she sighed contentedly and inhaled the comforting scent surrounding her. It smelled like old leather, cigarette smoke and the faintest hint of cologne. The sound of slight snoring reached her ears and its repetitiveness was enough to slowly drive her closer to consciousness. When her sleepy mind realized the car wasn't moving, she groggily opened her eyes to ask Spike why they were stopped. He was passed out in the drivers' seat with a blanket wrapped around him. Buffy watched as a beam of light made its way through the black paint smeared all over his windows and was dangerously close to Spike's blonde head. Buffy found herself staring at his hair haphazardly sticking up. It was kinda sexy. <em>Oh! Oh no! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! This was Spike! He was…icky? Yes! Very icky!<em>

As she continued to stare, the sun did reach Spike's head and it started to sizzle. Normally she would have left him and waited for him to wake up before she started laughing at him, but she was feeling nice this morning. Buffy reached out her arm; pulling it from under the duster placed on her like a blanket and poked him on the shoulder. He didn't even move so she did it again…and again…and again.

"Spike!" she hissed at him, trying to wake him up. _God he sleeps like the dead…un-dead…whatever!_ Finally after all her efforts, his hair just caught on fire, and that woke him up. He leapt up, bashing his head on the top of the interior of the car and cursed loudly, wilding hitting at his hair to put out the small flames. Finally the fire went out and he rubbed his head where he hit it and grumbled "ow" under his breathe.

"I'm not bald there am I? That _cheeky _ponce Xander will have a bloody field day when we get back if I am." Spike asked with a glare, his hatred of Xander making him sound more British than usual. His obsession with his appearance made Buffy giggle despite herself. This_ was_ coming from the guy who paints his fingernails though. He shot her a look and she held up her hand in defense, holding back laughter.

"Sorry, it's just funny how much you care about how you look. No, you are not bald, believe me, if you were I'd be laughing much harder right now. Your peroxided hair is perfectly fine besides being a bit singed. The car does kinda smell like burnt hair now, which hey, pretty gross. You know, your accent really comes out when you're angry." She commented even though she hadn't initially planned on it. Spike raised his eyebrow at her, hoping she wasn't lying about his hair.

"Bet it just gets you all hot and bothered eh Summers?" He teased her, causing her to blush prettily before she came up with an appropriately outraged reply. She stuck her tongue out at him before folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the door.

"You wish," was her only response to him. With a shrug, Spike ran his hand through his hair once more and tossed his blanket into the backseat. He kept rummaging about and it was Buffy's turn to raise her eyebrow at him. "What are you doing back there?"

"Your mom," was his annoying response. He was really spending too much time around the Scoobies, using a typical _teenager_ phrase. Buffy rolled her eyes and Spike finally found what he had been looking for. He sat back up with a crappy little art supply container of black paint. He opened it and used the paintbrush inside to cover up where the sun had drifted in and fried his hair.

"There," he said when he was finished. "Can't have me bursting into flames can we?"

"We'd never get so lucky," Buffy replied in a mock-serious voice.

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><p>"Are we there yet?" Buffy asked Spike for about the twentieth time in an hour. Spike growled and whipped his head towards her.<p>

"You ask me that one more _bloody_ time and so help me I will toss you out of the bleedin' car and make you walk!" He was sick of her talking so much. She'd been fine that morning, but now Spike was glad they were nearly at the end of their drive. The sun was close to setting, they would have arrived sooner if it weren't for all of Buffy's pit stops. They had about an hour left before reaching the desert that Giles had circle in red pen on the map.

Suddenly Spike ran over something on the road and the car began lurching to the side. He cursed and rapidly tried to control the swerving vehicle. Buffy squealed and yelled at him. Spike barely got the car off onto the side of the road. He slammed on the brakes, making Buffy lurch forward in her seat, and he put the car in park. Both of them braced themselves for a moment before Buffy, still startled from the brief scare looked at Spike, wide-eyed.

"Now what?" She asked and Spike resisted rolling his eyes. _Great, the Slayer can sure as hell slay evil, but when it comes to car troubles she's probably clueless_, he thought as he unbuckled his seatbelt and rubbed his eyes with his palms. This was not going to be fun.

"Now, you have to change the tire. The spare is in the trunk," he explained, gesturing for her to get to it. She gaped at him, a look of panic overcoming her. She didn't know how to change a tire, she didn't even know how use the jack thing to prop up the car.

"B-but I don't know how to…" she trailed off, hoping he would be nice and tell her she didn't have to do it. Spike sighed as he pulled out the manual that came with the car and the car jack and he handed them to the baffled Buffy.

"Yeah, well a great pile of ash doesn't exactly know how to either," he paused waiting for Buffy to get out so he could avoid the sun that would enter the car. When it didn't appear she was going to move, he sighed dramatically, he was doing that a lot lately. "Well? Chivvy along, Summers, we don't have all day, unless you plan to wait until I can change the damn tire, really doesn't take a rocket scientist, I believe even you can manage, Slayer."

Now indignant at his insults to her intelligence, she grumbled and threw open her door. Spike yelled out and cowered away from the sunlight that made its way inside and Buffy grinned. It served him right if he got burnt. She dropped the jack on the ground and pulled open the manual. It looked confusing, but Buffy went to get the spare out of the trunk. She returned to the front of the car where the tire was flat and flung it on the ground. Sighing, she went back to the guide and wrinkled her brow. Spike thought it was kinda cute until ten minutes later when she was just figuring out how to use the jack. He cursed and placed his head on the steering wheel. They were both startled when the horn blared loudly. Spike and Buffy both jumped, her initial reaction replaced by anger. She flipped him off and continued figuring out the tire. Carefully setting his head back down, Spike kept up with his string of curse words mumbled under his breath and decided he ought to get comfortable. This was going to continue to be a very long trip.


End file.
